How to Redirect Children - Episode 35
Tired of those tantrums? Tired of those screaming and cries? Wish there's something you can do? There is! Mama and Dads out there, listen to this podcast. We talk about the method of redirection in detail so that your child doesn't even get to the tantrum stage. Preventative Medicine. Join us as we dive deep in obtaining peace.
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►00:00 - Intro
►00:09 - What does Yuntaku mean?
►00:34- TOPIC: How to Redirect your Children
►00:47 - Recent Happening: Flea Infestation!!
►02:05 - Giving the child the power- Example #1 - Running in the Store
►03:46 - Example #2 - Pushing Others
►04:36 - Example #3 - Self Determination
►05:20 - Setting Boundaries
►06:07 - Tips
►07:12 - What to do during the tantrums
QUESTION: What are some situations with your children that give you a tough time?
MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com
#Redirectingyourchild #eliminatetantrums #riseinlove #realizeyourtruenature
Podcast Transcription
Episode 35
Tamo: [00:00:00] This is episode 35
Akko: and the topic of the day is how to redirect your children. And before we get started, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show. Now let's get back to our recent happenings. So recently we've been battling flea, infestation. I mean, It's not to a point where it's an infestation, but I mean, we are being attacked.
Tamo: Yeah. We don't have any pets. And so we're trying to figure out how the fleas got in. You know, we do have friends and family that do have pets, so maybe the fleas got transported that way, or it could be the stray cats we've been seeing in our backyard.
Akko: Yeah. We have so many stray has come into our yard. We have mulch. And they seem to like mulch. I mean, they they think it's their litter.
Tamo: yeah. It's been quite a difficult battle. And also all of us got.
Akko: bit
Tamo: Multiple times, right?
Akko: Oh yeah. Like mama right here. Got A lot of battles scars from these fleas. I mean, it's like a lot. [00:01:00]
Tamo: Yeah. And for myself I got sick.
I spiked a fever and then also yeah.
I had a whole body rash and then still like a little bit of lightheadedness. So it's been, it's been pretty tough. So we've been working on getting rid of, to fleas by using soapy water and things like that. Yeah, it's, it's getting better and better.
So hopefully we have been going in the right trajectory and that this flea issue will be just another story that's in the past.
Akko: Yeah, exactly. So wish us luck. I hope, these little traps that we have come up with catches those fleas.
Tamo: Yeah. So let's go into our topic of the day today how to redirect our children. And I think a lot of parents have a lot of issues with
Especially at younger ages. Redirecting their children. From, a potentially dangerous or very undesirable actions that the child is taking.
So Akko sharing [00:02:00] some of her learnings.
Akko: Yeah. So I've been seeing if this works for our daughter and. It seems to work. So I just wanted to share what's been working for us
so this is kind of how it works. So it's pretty much giving the child the power to choose when you don't want them to do a certain thing. So how do you do that? How does that work? So let's say for example you don't want them to run in the store.
A lot of children love to run in the store, so you don't want them to do that. So instead of saying, don't run in the store, cause you kind of want to refrain from saying don't unless you really, really have to. So more of a safety issue is when you should say it, so that it's has more of an impact for the children or for the child.
And so instead of saying, don't run around the. store. You can say, I know you want to run around the store, but you can get hurt. Would You like to hold mommy or daddy's hand while we're shopping, or would you like to go into the cart usually at that point, she'll most likely choose. And for whatever reason they can't choose
Tamo: or
Akko: They [00:03:00] say no then you just tell them, okay, well, mommy or daddy will choose for you.
Is that okay? And then they'll answer for you. And usually in that case, they're like, okay, no, I want to choose. And so they will make a choice and that kind of eliminates tantrums from occurring because they feel like they made the decision themselves.
Another example would be. So our daughter has been pushing her younger brother pretty often. I mean, we try to give her as much love as possible. But jealousy is a very strong emotion. And so she pushes her brother.
So what I used to say was, don't push your brother. It hurts him. But that really wasn't working. so I stopped saying that. So I started saying you pushed your brother, like you're actually stating what she has done. So you state
Tamo: what she did.
Akko: So you push your brother that hurts him. I need to keep him safe. You could kiss him or read a book to him or some other choice that you can choose. And when I would say that she's like, okay, I'm going to give him a kiss. And then she kind of just goes [00:04:00] about, and just doing her other things.
So that has worked. So I'm crossing my fingers that it works every single time. It's worked a few times already. So hopefully she keeps it up. And then maybe another example would be
Let's say you guys are walking around the block and she wants to go a certain route, but you're just like, you know, that's going to take too long. because , you have your time restraints. So as a mom or dad, you're just like, you know, what, that's going to take too long.
So you pretty much tell them I know you want to go this way. I understand. So you're acknowledging what they want. And you can just say, let's go another day and you can say today, you can choose whether to go through a park or pass through the neighbor's house. So in that way, you can give them a choice and you're literally letting them know that you hear them, you understand, but this is not something that you can do right now.
You're going to do another day. You're going to choose from these
Tamo: two.
Akko: And so that's kind of a, few examples that I can let you know. And also. there is something else that I've also been doing where before you go somewhere. So let's give the store [00:05:00] example again. So what I do is my daughter loves to touch everything and loves to run around the store.
So whenever we go into this. in the car, I will let her know not to run in the store and not to touch everything in the store. And if either of those are done, then we will be going home Or we will be going in the car Cause obviously if we really need to shop, then you don't really want to say I'm going to go home because you kind of need a shop so you can tell her we're going to go in the car instead.
I have
Tamo: her
Akko: repeat it back to me. And then when we go into the goes about doing her thing. And let's say if she does it, I give her one warning. And then the second time she does it, we're off to the car.
So that's kind of been working. So a few tips that I do want to give is you have to really be consistent. You have to follow through and you have to be patient You have to be very patient. I mean, gosh, I don't know how much patients I have, you have to really be patient.
Tamo: Yeah. We're forced to practice patience
Akko: yeah. Yeah. Sometime, you know, it's very hard and I think it's [00:06:00] okay. And it's okay to show your emotions. If you're angry, you can just let them know mommy or daddy is very angry right now. I'm going to take a deep breath and you just show them that you're taking a deep breath right in front of them, show them how you're dealing with these emotions so that you're modeling how to deal with those emotions.
So, yeah. It's okay to show your emotions. It's fine. I think. it's completely fine. So that's kind of, what's been happening again. Be consistent follow through with, what you're going to say, cause if you're not following through, they're just going to be like, Hey, I can just walk all over a mom on dada.
So, and also be patient. Cause sometime it takes a while for them to really choose from one of those choices and the other day she actually didn't choose. She said, no, I'm not going to do it so you can just tell her, okay, well, mommy or daddy will choose for you then.
And let's say they do go into a full blown tantrum.
What you can do is just sit by them and just let them cry it out and do their thing and just let them know, mama and daddy are here for you. If you need a hug, we're here for you. We love you. And that's really all you can do. And that's it. And Try to not make it a big [00:07:00] deal. Easier said than done, especially if you're out in public, but you know, if you're out in public, I would just try to just get them in a car or something so that not everyone has to hear the crying and whatnot in any case. That's what we've been practicing and it's been working.
So we just wanted to show these tips. with.
Tamo: Yeah, it's been awesome. Thank you for sharing.
So the question of the day is what are some situations with your children that give you a tough time?
Akko: We'd love to hear from you. Please come say hi on our new website, by going to Akko and Tamo.com. That's a K K O a N D T a M. o.com and subscribe to our email newsletter to keep up to date with each new podcast.
Tamo: All right. Take care.
Akko: All right, bye.