Metaphors for Parenting - Yuntaku Time - Episode 3
Happy Father's Day Everyone. Today we talk about the meaning of Father's Day to fathers and future fathers out there. Being a parent comes much responsibility as your child comes into this world being completely dependent. As a father has the meaning of Father’s Day changed for you?
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TIMESTAMP:
► 0:04. - What does Yuntaku Mean?
► 00:40 - TOPIC: Has the Meaning of Father's Day Changed since Becoming a Father?
► 1:15 - How Akko's father was growing up.
► 4:45 - Tamo's Perspective/Metaphor #1 of Being a Father
► 6:06 - Tamo's Perspective/Metaphor #2 of Being a Father
► 7:39 - Tamo's Perspective/Metaphor #3 of Being a Father
► 8:45 - Tamo's Vision #1 of Being a Father
► 10:14 - Tamo's Vision #2 of Being a Father
► 11:53 - Tamo's Vision #3 of Being a Father
MUSIC:
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Podcast Transcription
The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.
Akko 0:00
He would shower me with a lot of love. Whenever he would come back from work, he would always give me a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek and it's Yuntaku time with Akko and Tamo.
Tamo 0:12
What does Yuntaku mean? It's an Okinawan word from the islands of Okinawa, which means chit chat. We want to invite you to our kitchen table, and include you in our chit chat, to explore new ways of thinking, to welcome different perspectives, and learn better ways to live life.
Akko 0:34
And we want to share ideas and how to love yourself. Love your partner, and shower your children with love. Happy belated Father's Day, everyone for all the fathers out there. And today's topic is going to be has a meaning of Father's Day changed since you've become a father.
Tamo 0:54
Thank you, thank you. I had a great Father's Day. Thank you very much, Mama. We got to spend it with our daughter. And I was fantastic. I loved it. And yes, since becoming a father, things have definitely changed. And it's a great time to reflect and look forward into the future. And how I want to grow as a data. Yeah, sounds good. And so, you know, before I share my perspectives and vision I have for being a father, maybe you can share a little bit about how it was growing up with your father. So maybe you can share some stories and things like that.
Akko 1:37
Yeah, for sure. Um, I had a pretty good childhood, in a sense that I was the only girl so I'm the baby girl, I have two older brothers, who are much older than me to a point where they thought that their my, a lot of my friends thought that they're my father. So in a sense, I had maybe three fathers, but my dad was a pretty involved guy, I guess in a sense, he would take me to the park and then teach me how to bat just because he was really into baseball, super into baseball, he would teach me how to catch a ball. Pretty much every weekend, he would take me to the park, neighborhood park and teach me that and I would hit the ball. And then my brother would have to fetch it. And I would run all the bases are imaginary and bases and everything. And other than that, there are times when we when I got older, he would take me to the driving range. And we would bond by me hitting the ball hitting the Golf Ball Super just unprofessionally. I don't even know where it went. But yeah, I used to do that a lot, probably a couple times a week, I just kind of tag along with him because I want it to go with him. And sometimes I would just go to the petting area and just put and yeah, it was really fun. And yeah, other than that, he would shower me with a lot of love. Whenever he would come back from work, he would always give me a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. And it was very comforting. And I felt that I was very loved. And so those are some of the memories that I do cherish. And there. I mean, there was a lot more memories. I mean, I pretty much carried along with him a lot of on a lot of trips. And then and there are times where he would he liked to fix cars. So I would help him fix cars. Well help him in a way that I would hand him the tools. And he would teach me what type of tools is what. And so and then I would kind of look under the car with him. And I'm sure I can only I can remember he wasn't really comfortable with it, because it was kind of dangerous. But I was like, I'm okay. Don't worry. Anywho But yeah, I had a really good childhood with my dad. That's great.
Tamo 4:12
That's really great to hear. Yeah. And, you know, I think that when you're in your formative years, you know, having support and love from your father really was a positive thing for your life. Yeah, yeah, I think
Akko 4:25
it was. Yeah. So has Father's Day changed? As far as you know, since you've become a father?
Tamo 4:33
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Things have been, things have changed quite a bit. And I can split it into two main things that I think about which is one is perspective, and kind of a metaphor, perspective and metaphor, and then the vision I have. And what I want to share is some of the perspective slash metaphor that I have in terms of becoming a Father, one of them that I really like is the metaphor of a rocket rocket ship shooting up into space, outer space. And we all know that, you know, when a rocket launches, it has boosters. And then it carries payload. And as the rocket is ascending, the boosters cut off. And then the, there's a few stages to it, and then goes into orbit once it goes out of majority of Earth's gravity. And that's kind of how I see raising the child. For us, the payload where the rocket and our children can be seen as the the payload, right, and we want to do our best in order to get them to orbit. And for them to succeed in the ways they want to succeed not in the ways that we want them to succeed, but in ways that they can achieve their dreams, their visions, and to leave the world in a better place than they were born into. And so that's one of the metaphors that I keep in my mind. Another one is staking of a tree. So when a tree is young, it can grow. Obviously, in many directions, hopefully, it grows up straight. But sometimes when the maybe the soil is unstable, or there's a lot of wind, or maybe the roots are not being established, more, it could be poorly planted, that the the young tree can start to develop a lien. And as it matures, it keeps that lien and sometimes that presents issues for the tree. And similar to the tree, for me, I would like to be that that steak that helps our children grow straight in a sense of, they are able to have a dream and kind of chase their passions, right and not be taken astray by by extraneous stuff, things like maybe, especially nowadays, there's so much distraction in terms of, you know, digital entertainment. Yeah, and then, you know, there's also much more negative issues that can crop up in this world as we grew up. So being that steak that kind of helps guide our children until they're ready for the steak to be taken off. And you know, they can fully mature to who they are meant to be. I like that. And a third perspective that I have is maybe more tailored towards a woman, but it's the pregnancy metaphor. And as a woman becomes pregnant, the child is one with you. Right? And when the child is born, that's the first separation that happens between the mother and the child. And as the child grows, little by little, there needs to be more and more separation. So that the child can have ample space, not only physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually to grow and find their own way. And just like a steak that I talked about, or even the rockets, we want to take them as far as we can, without stunting their growth. So that's how I see parenting from several different perspectives slash metaphors. Beautiful. Thank you. And so with that, I also have a vision and vision is to show our daughter what a healthy family life is.
Tamo 9:03
I want to show her how much I love you. Right? Yeah, by example. I want to show her how much I love her in the way that she understands love that. I think that's a subtle distinction. Right? Because you know, everyone, of course, they want to show their own children as much love as possible. Yeah. And that itself is very clear. But the subtle distinction that I want to make is, we want to love our children in the way that they receive love. In the future. We can talk about the five love languages. Yeah. But you know, I think there are many other subtle things. For example, a newborn, a toddler, and infant will require love in a different way than a teenager or a fully grown adult. So being able to adjust and grow with them. To give love, I think that's a really important understanding to have. And as our daughter grows, I'm sure that we're will be very much tested every single day. Yeah. And challenged so that we also grow with her too. And so that's one of the visions I have. And another one that I have is to show our daughter, by example, to pursue her own dreams, and to never stop learning. Enjoy curiosity and play with imagination. So, as much as possible, keeping that youthful energy nation, right, the openness Yeah. And, you know, this is this is life. So things are going to hurt, we will be scarred, but making use of those seemingly bad things and turning it into a positive. So teaching her to be an alchemist, right. alchemy is the study of turning lead into gold. And that's what we want to do. Turn. Another way to say it is when you have lemonade, you are sorry, when you have lemons. make lemonade. Yeah. Right. So that's another thing that I have a vision for. And as I mentioned, I want her to leave the world better than she found it. And just like for us, we want to leave the world better than we were born into. And part of the reason for this podcast is that we want to share some of the learnings that we've had, and we're constantly learning work taking courses. Yeah. We're just learning through life but
Akko 11:53
challenging ourselves
Tamo 11:55
and taking ourselves outside the comfort zone. Yes,
Akko 11:58
I was just gonna say that. Yeah.
Tamo 12:02
And one of the last and important visions that I have is, you know, we talked in a previous podcast regarding the values you had, and how family life is very important. And I want to foster that family visit as much as possible, which is, as you mentioned, Mama, a family, a home that is overflowing with love.
Akko 12:29
Yeah, and a way you can do that is by showing unconditional love to each other. I think we can show our daughter about she's loved. And how to love people, too, and how to receive and just be a more well rounded person, because she's loved.
Tamo 12:48
And so you're saying that, for us to show love to each other?
Akko 12:52
Yeah, is I think key. Not necessarily. Yes, showing her love, her unconditional love is very important. But more important than that, I think showing each other, that unconditional love is much more deeply rooted and much more impactful for her. As far as her receiving and observing the love. Because, again, I mean, you know, your, your, your children can feel emotions, they can feel the love. And so if your parents are not being truthful and honest with their love with each other, then your parent your children is going to catch on to that and they're going to, they're gonna know. Yeah,
Tamo 13:38
and I think we also see that in our daily lives, too. You know, when we hug and kiss. She's She's
Akko 13:46
watching us. Yeah, she loves it.
Tamo 13:48
She loves it. She loves it. She really likes it. Yeah. And, and after the big old smile, she comes running towards us. And she wants her own hug too.
Akko 13:57
Yeah, right in the right in between us, which is great. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not in a bad way, either. It's not like it's just she just wants to be a part of it, which is great.
Tamo 14:06
Mm hmm. And for me, I don't see how she comes over to us is not necessarily jealousy. No, it's more like, hey, I want to join in bed love. Mm hmm. And we welcome her in, give her a big hug and put her center. Yeah. And give her a hug. Bring both of us together. So yeah, I think that's really beautiful. And we all love that. Yeah,
Akko 14:32
we do. We do. So I think it's important. So I hope everyone can, you know, go that extra step and show a little more love to their partners in front of their children. Because it is very important. I grew up in a household where that was never that was never shown. And so, not to say that I didn't think my parents loved Other I think they did. But it's just I've never, I never saw it. And so I made sure that, you know, I knew that I didn't want to be like that. And that I'm going to fully express my feeling towards that.
Tamo 15:16
Thank you, Mama. Thank you. Yeah, same for me too, you know, I think maybe in our culture, and maybe it's just a generational thing. Yeah. At the same time, culture and generation, where there's multiple different types of love, right? There's physical, there's emotional, how you say it, how you treat them, things like that. But, uh, in most, I guess, dimensions or realms of love, it was usually muted. Or, in my case, I actually saw the opposite. It was kind of weird. You know, they wouldn't be able to say directly that they really love each other or things like that. And sometimes, it might come out in a kind of a, like, a weird right around the bush. Right? Exactly. Yeah. And it's never direct. You know, you've helped me really kind of be more direct and more than direct, more honest with my mom, you know, and now I'm more and more able to express my love towards you, which also in turn helps us express love to our daughter. Yeah. And you know, if we can continue to grow that's, yeah, that's, that'd be great. overflowing baby.
Akko 16:35
Exactly. Exactly.
Tamo 16:37
Yeah. So.
Akko 16:41
Yeah. Well, I think it's,
Tamo 16:46
yes, it's coming to that to that time again. Yeah. So thank you very much, everyone,
Akko 16:52
for tuning in. And if you like to chime in or leave a comment as far as what father's a means to you, that'd be great. If you can just go on to our YouTube channel. It will be under the name Adventures of team Tako with that K. That's T A KO Adventures of team taKo and just drop a comment. Yep. And to
Tamo 17:19
find us. even easier way is just type in Yuntaku. Yeah. Searching Yuntaku Time on YouTube. And you'll find it and then yeah, comment. All right. Well, we'll talk to you soon. Take care.
Akko 17:32
All right. Bye. Bye.