The Raw, Unfiltered Truth of the First Day of School! - Episode 63
Today, we're bringing you an episode that's about a milestone that every parent eagerly anticipates and dreads at the same time - THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. The excitement had been building for months, weeks, and days as we prepared for our daughter's grand adventure into the world of education. We painted a vivid picture of school as an exciting place filled with new friends, playful learning, and endless possibilities. But as the day finally arrived, the truth hit us like a tidal wave - it wasn't just our daughter embarking on this journey, but us parents too.
As we waved goodbye with a mix of pride and apprehension, we quickly realized that our emotions were far more tangled than we ever expected. The notion of our kids growing up clashed head-on with the bittersweet realization that they're venturing into a world where we won't be there to hold their hand every step of the way.
In this episode, we're opening up about the raw, unfiltered truth of what happens when the day we've been hyping up finally arrives.
So, whether you're a seasoned parent who's been through it all or a soon-to-be parent gearing up for this inevitable rite of passage, join us as we peel back the layers of this emotional experience.
We look forward to reading your comments. ❤️ 💫
IG: @akkoandtamo
TIMESTAMP:
►00:00 - Intro
►00:15 - TOPIC: Our Daughter's First Day of School
►00:27 - Why we pulled her out of preschool initially
►01:32 - Our Emotional Rollercoaster
►14:29 - Bonus tip - Stay Present
QUESTION: Share what you went through yourself or let us know what you want to listen to?
MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com
#firstdayofschool #happyfamily #consciousparenting #realizeyourtruenature
Podcast Transcription
The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.
Episode 63
Tamo: This is episode 63
Akko: we're gonna be talking about our daughter's first day of school.
Tamo: Yes. A big day for All of us in the family.. Absolutely. And we just want to preface this by saying she's four years old and she had gone to school earlier.
Akko: Yeah, yeah. When she was about two and a half to three, so that six months. little over six months period. We did send her to school and I have to say it was not the greatest experience for any of us.
Tamo: Yeah. And it became really clear to us that she wasn't ready to go. And we tried and we decided to pull her out of school and just have her be
Akko: with us. Yes. And so that I feel ultimately was the greatest decision ever. And yeah. But we'll go ahead and explain to you why we think this way.
Tamo: And I think interestingly when she first started school, not this time around, but when she first started school, when she wasn't ready she was the one who wept, cried, and didn't want to go to school.
And she would have a very difficult time. Whereas today she is ready. She is now ready and she goes to school and. Interestingly, it's the parents who are weeping and shedding the tears. Yeah. And then all these mixed emotions. Yeah. There's definitely a lot of emotions that came up for, at least for both of us.
For me it was the feeling of wistfulness and then it turned into sadness and then it. Went into more of a validation and then happiness. And I kind of wanna share with you what went on in my head as I'm still processing all of this as our daughter is now going to school.
And, I think the wistfulness and sadness is already longing for the times that she wasn't going to school. She only started school today, but. Seeing maybe the things that like I'm gonna miss, for her not to be around all the time. Because she's at school.
Just missing that already and it's, that's life because when she is around and I'm trying to get work done, it's so difficult and we don't get to. Get work done. And that's one of the reasons we haven't been doing the podcast. We were, really being with our children.
And now that she's left, I am missing her presence. So it's isn't it interesting?
Akko: I'm very interesting. I'm getting like choked up while you're saying this, but Yeah. It yeah, you just miss her presence. It's ' cause she was a very energetic child and it's just, oh, it's just so much. It's like very quiet right now and, we have our son with us, but yeah, you just already miss it. It's really interesting.
Yeah. And just knowing that she started school, like the journey of school, so she's gonna be in school for 18 years. Okay until she's 18 and then college. But it's, it's a, she's gonna be in school from now on and it's. Just to even grasp that she's not gonna be home with us anymore is it's pretty emotional.
Yeah. Yeah. To be the
Tamo: least. And it's interesting, at least for me, I had all these kind of emotions and how the mind works and sometimes it can go to some kind of extreme where oh Was I nice enough, or did I spend enough time with her? And all these things came up.
But I'll be talking about the validation portion. My emotions we're going through this this sadness and almost like a longing to go back to what things were very interesting and then again, feeling the did I do enough?
Was I with her enough? Of course the answer is yes, but the mind was playing all sorts of scenarios. And that was something that kind of came up for me. And then from there it went into validation and I was validated 100% that we did. The right thing for our child, like holding off because she wasn't ready to go to school. Yeah. And today was a big validation because she went to school without that fuss that we experienced when she was
Akko: younger. Oh yeah. There was a little bit, like very little in the very beginning when she was getting outta the car.
She was like, oh, I don't wanna go to school. School. And then I was like, oh, but look at all your friends go. And then she just got out of the car and just slowly walked to the front of the school, and then slowly made her way to the gate. And, through all this, I stayed just really calm and sent happy energy. And never forced anything upon her, like go, and push her into school or anything like that. It was just her. Her willingly to go into school. And yeah, and I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah. There was a little bit of like proudness and then happiness and then just, overall like you were saying, like validation.
Yeah.
Tamo: I really felt that strong sense that we are validated and knowing that we made the best decision for our daughter. You know, At first her having a lot of trouble at school because she wasn't ready. And now she is ready. Of course, there's a little bit of. Hesitancy. But of course first day of school that's to be completely expected. But it wasn't, it, like Akko mentioned, it was so different.
Akko: So different. Yeah. And at first, when she was younger and she went to school, all the teachers would try to validate your feelings by saying, it's okay, don't worry about it. Give her some time, a couple months, a few months. And I'm like, okay, it's been like six months now. And in that process we even changed schools to even, see how she did. And she did better at the second school, but she was still not ready for that second school.
And knowing, just comparing the. experience with these schools. It was so different. So different. Yeah. And just her willingness to just be like, all right, bye, mom. I made sure that she knew that I was leaving too, and she's okay, bye. She waved back and then she went into the classroom.
Tamo: Yeah, definitely. I have to say, it, it was us that wasn't ready this time around, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. And but I have to say I, I felt sadness because it's also a letting go, the validation and the sadness came together in terms that like, We, as parents have to let go more and more as they grow.
And of course we wanna hold on to like, when they're really young and cute and it's like really this fun energy, but, little by little kids grow. And , what I noticed that is her being okay going to school was her blossoming. And. It was a life lesson to me where things do blossom when the time is right and for us to not force things, this goes along with anything in life.
Not really forcing things and allowing things to blossom take their own time and that nature knows better. And for us, what we decided with our daughter was when she first went to school, like Akko mentioned, we tried the first school, didn't work out. The second school it was a little better, but it's still we in our hearts, it wasn't right.
The right thing to do. Yeah. And so we followed our hearts and decided that we will move to Hawaii and to find come to find out there were. Phenomenal educational opportunities for her that allowed both her brother and you mama to go together. And that really helped her, I think, oh, get a solid foundation.
Akko: A lot, a lot. And this is way better than just staying at home and just hanging out with her because she's being exposed to the school environment. It's not we went to two different schools, but One was more of an open concept where we there was school, like outdoor, more so in a covered area.
So that was a little more informal. But there was another school that we went to that was more of a classroom setting, and so she got a taste of just different types of school settings with me. And so she always felt that security when going to school. Yeah. And then in the beginning, I have to say, yeah, she was like, Holding onto me tight wherever I would go.
Like she would like literally be my shadow and she would just be following me everywhere. And it's funny 'cause it was her brother that would be just be going everywhere and just exploring. But she would always be by my side in the very beginning. And towards the end it flipped.
Her brother was more so going wherever I wanted to go. And she was like, mom, you can go to the restroom. It's fine. I'll be here. And she gave me that space or she let me know that she is okay with being by herself. And yeah, it was just amazing to even just witness, yeah, just to see the stage that she was going through.
It was first super close and then she kept, It's like that, that game you like, you roll a ball and then you go further and further or maybe throw a ball and then you go further and further to see how far you can throw. It's like this very similar concept.
But yeah, she just was like, okay, I'm okay. Yep. I don't have to see you, mom. Like first it was like, all right, you can be at one station. I can be at another station, it'll be fine. And then it was like, oh, I need to go to the restroom. Do you wanna come with me or you wanna stay? And she's I'll stay and you can go.
Tamo: It was amazing. Yeah. And this school setting allowed, of course the parents or grandparents or caregiver to come along together. And our daughter got to, or daughter and son got to see other kids too. Yeah. Around the same age. So that also it's, it was such a a soft nice entry into schooling.
Akko: Yeah, absolutely. And, there are teachers too, so they, they're there to teach too, it was much needed for her.
Tamo: Yeah. And that's another thing that I, you know, an insight that came to me is it really depends on the child. Some child, children they're totally fine going to school from a early age. But in our case, in our situation, it for our daughter was not the case. And so we just we can't template. Our children because each child has have, has their own individual personalities and things like that. And just really as a parent feeling into how our children are, what they respond to, what they don't like, what they don't respond to, things like that.
And just being aware, being present enough to see that in our children and. Again, I think it was a always kind of an experiment, a learning experience for us. And today to me shows that validation. Oh
Akko: yeah, absolutely. And it's interesting 'cause, Even though we have this validation, it's funny because our mind does play tricks, like you were saying. And for me it was like doubt. Are we making the right decision? Maybe she needs more time with us. And just my mind circling, maybe she needs more time with us and maybe she's not ready for school And so it was really interesting to know like how the mind plays tricks on you and,
Tamo: right, yeah. And I think that's exactly the thing. If we were to have just listened to our minds, we might have pushed through when she was younger, going to school no, you gotta go to school. And just pushed through that. But within that we started to listen to our hearts and really feeling into what was happening.
And we knew like from earlier on, that it wasn't her time to go to school, but now, We're feeling in our hearts. Maybe she is ready now. Yeah. Yeah. Seeing how she
Akko: Yeah, she's, how she, yeah. Seeing how she was. Yeah. But yeah.
Tamo: And even school coming up to the today we've.
Continued to warm her up to the idea and she, herself, she was starting to get really excited about going to school. She was preparing her backpack and lunchbox and things like that, ready to go to school and, you
Akko: know, we, she let me know what she wanted. She's I want you to make me this for lunch.
And I was like, okay. That's fine.
Tamo: Yeah. And so it's really interesting how things like that work out. And it's It's another stage that we're going into, with our daughter going to school. And so just like I mentioned, like the blossoming flower, I feel like it, it was a metamorphosis where, she was still in the cocoon and we were prodding at it when she was younger.
But when you're not ready, you're not ready. And if you're not ready and you're forcing things to happen, you can actually do damage. Because a cocoon. You poke at it enough the resulting butterfly will be damaged. And I feel like we gave her that space to grow and mature from the inside.
And obviously we're here today. Yeah. Yeah.
Akko: Obviously the emotions are still running high for me and I'm like, oh my gosh. I hope she's doing good. And like really, I just feel hopeful for her like that she's doing great, and she's just having fun.
Tamo: Yeah.
Same here for me. The emotions hit pretty soon after and, shed a lot of tears. And yeah, it was a learning experience for me, definitely as parents and, I'm sure that Akko and I will be continuing to have this conversation and learning from it. Learning that things do take time. Nature knows better. So we not really forcing things to happen. And of course there are times like life is not just waiting all the time.
But there are times that you do have to deal with difficult things. And those times are those times. And having the wisdom to know when is the right time, when is not the right time, really feeling into things and. Also being validated that yes, as parents we are doing the right thing. I really felt validated today.
Yeah. Seeing how she reacted to going
Akko: to school. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And, we even asked her okay, do you want, first it was, Tamo that was gonna drop her off. And then in the morning she was like, no, I, I want you to drop me off. And we're like, okay. So we just took her lead. We never really forced it upon her
Tamo: so we gave
Akko: her the option. Yeah, because in my head I was thinking, Since I'm always with her. Maybe it might be easier for Tamo to drop her off. But, I just decided, hey, you know what, let's just have her take the lead and just have her let us know who should drop her off.
Tamo: And so she requested mama to drop her off and dad had to pick her up. So that's what we're gonna do. Yep. Yep.
Akko: And we're excited. Today's a half day, so thankfully we can see her sooner. But yeah. We'll keep you posted as far as how we're feeling and how school went for her.
Tamo: Yeah. But. Yeah, today was a more informal podcast, but we just really wanted to get out how we were feeling and just capture more of the raw emotions that we're currently feeling. And as usual, subscribe to our podcast and follow us on Instagram. It's AKKO AND TAMO
and also if you want transcripts of the podcast go to our website @ AKKOANDTAMO.COM and you'll be able to see the transcripts so that if you're more of a person that likes to read the podcast, it's there. And so again, thank you for listening and yeah, join us in this adventure and we're really hoping that you gain a lot out of this as much as we are, and feel free to always reach out to us. Yeah, we're very accessible. Although it may take a little while for us to respond we are busy with our children and we really focus on family wellness and the relationship between mama and dada. And that is, that hopefully you'll hear more from us
Akko: soon. Yeah. And another tip that I wanted to give you is, when you're doing these drop offs, for children that it's their first time going to a new school and whatnot, try to just stay present. I didn't even bring my phone with me. I. Unintentionally left my phone in the car, but that was perfect how it happened. 'cause I see all these parents videotaping and then taking photos with all these signs and I'm like, oh, I wanna do that too. Oh, I should do that too.
Where's my phone? But then I'm so glad that I left my phone in the in the car. And honestly, even if I had it, I probably wouldn't have taken it out because knowing how what our daughter's going through And all the emotions that she's feeling. I wanted to really stay present with her.
Just send her positive vibes, be there for her for anything that she needed during the time that she is walking to school. Because ultimately, that's more important, right? You can always record yourself because that's what I did as far as what, what happened afterwards.
Or you can do the photo shoot after you pick her up. No one's gonna know, and I just thought I just send you off with that tip and just stay present with your children during difficult times.
Tamo: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I think that's a really a great tip and for me being present showed me today I wasn't the one dropping her off, but I was there in spirit and just my thoughts were with them and since I was present with myself, how I was feeling it showed me how much I love her.
Akko: Yeah. So yeah, we're just here getting choked up again. It's not like we're trying to be silent. It's just all emotions are coming up again. Yeah. Tamo was saying, you just really, understand how much you love your children and especially our daughter at this moment right now.
And, we're always rooting her on, for the best. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like we're sending her to college or something, but yeah, we're sending her to preschool, so yeah, all these emotions, heightened emotions, but good emotions, things are great 'cause again, I think, we, I think she is ready and, if she's not, then we'll go ahead and reassess again and see how she's doing and reassess how she's doing.
Again, like it's never a concrete decision, right? You can always change things around for what's better for the child. And it's, nothing's really solid or concrete, so I wouldn't base it off of one decision. Oh, if I make this decision, I have to go on and I have to follow through. You don't have to. It's okay. You just do what's best for your family.
Tamo: And that's what being present allows us to do because we're so in touch with what we're feeling what we're thinking. And we can see. Feel our children, and it allows us to make these changes, and I think it's a day-to-day thing. And so I'm not saying day-to-day, you're going to school, you're not going to school, not like that. But just really being in tune with the energy the thoughts, the emotions , that our children are going through. Will allow us to be much better parents.
And, through this, it's the best self-development, opportunity we get. As much as we're caring for our children, they're caring for us and helping us accelerate our own growth too. Yep.
Akko: Yeah, thank you for listening to us and let us know what you think by commenting if you are going through the same thing or if you went through the same thing, or let us know what you want to listen to. All right. All right. Take care. All right.
Tamo: Bye bye-Bye.