Which Love Language Do You Speak? - Episode 18
In what way do you receive your love? Do you know how your partner receives their love? Everyone receives love in different ways. Some may receive love through physical touch and others may resonate more with compliments. In this podcast we talk about the 5 love languages and how it helped our relationship grow. Knowing how your partner receives love and more importantly knowing your own love language can save you from multiple misunderstandings. Join us as we share some secrets to understand your partner’s love language at an even deeper level.
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TIMESTAMP:
►00:12 - What does Yuntaku mean?
►00:50 - Recent Happenings: Tamo buys his high school dream car
►02:50 - TOPIC: Which love language do you speak?
►03:15 - Description and benefits of knowing the 5 love languages
►05:08 - How and Where do you take the 5 love language quiz
►06:19 - What's Tamo's Love Language
►07:39 - What's Akko's Love Language
►09:11 - How to use the love languages to grow your relationship
TAKE THE QUIZ @ 5lovelanguages.com
QUESTION: What’s your love language?
LINKS:
►Gary Chapman: 5 Languages of Love: https://amzn.to/3mhTyTE
MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com
#5lovelanguage #relationshipgoals #consciouscouple #riseinlove #realizeyourtruenature
Podcast Transcription
The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.
Akko 0:00
Yeah, nothing should really be concrete in a relationship. Everything's always fluid. Everything's always flexible. and adaptable.
Tamo 0:07
Yeah, that is perfect.
Akko 0:08
It Yuntaku time with Akko and Tamo.
Tamo 0:12
What does Yuntaku mean? It's an Okinawan word from the islands of Okinawa, which means chit chat. We want to invite you to our kitchen table, and include you in our chit chat, to explore new ways of thinking, to welcome different perspectives.
Akko 0:30
And we want to share ideas and how to love yourself. Love your partner, and shower your children with love. This is Episode 18. And the topic of the day is, which love language do you speak. And before we get started, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show. And let's go back to our recent happenings. So recently Tamo buys his high school dream car. And let me tell you guys, he's been dreaming of this car for a very long time. And he finally got it. So I'm going to have him talk to you guys about it.
Tamo 1:06
Yeah, so I don't have the car yet. But I placed the order online, which is really cool. It's cool that now we live in a time where we can purchase cars online, right? So I even did the trade in online. And now I'm going to have to wait for the car to be trucked over. And yeah, this car has been a car that I've wanted since high school. And it's funny because it's nothing special to most people. It's not a special car. But for me, when I first started driving in high school, that car that really stood out to me. And although I purchased a late model version of it's not the same car. And this is after many, many years. So it's 20 plus years since I've fell for this car, but I had to start a business. And it wasn't like I wasn't able to purchase it previously. But I think there's like a practical portion of me that said, Okay, I have to buy a practical car, although this car itself is a hatchback. And it's a lot more practical than even a sedan. Interestingly enough, yeah, I just held off on it. And I've been talking to a girl for probably since I met her Yeah. And she supported me through this purchase. It was really funny. And in a sense, it's a present to me. I've been working on a business 11 years in and the first many years, I was working with my brother for over 16 hours a day, it was a grind. And from all that work, you know, I think after over a decade, it's nice to just get myself something nice. So I decided to do that. So it's not just a high school dream car, but goes deeper than just a car. It's more of a symbol of the work I put in and the sacrifices that I had to make during the startup and growth phases of the business. And so yeah, I'm very excited about it, and very much looking forward to going on a ride with the family.
Akko 2:47
Yeah, for sure, for sure. So let's get back to our topic of the day. So which love language do you speak let's get started as far as what exactly the five love languages are. So the five love languages is a book by Gary Chapman. And he writes that there are five ways to express and experience love which he called muffling images. So they are words of affirmation quality, time receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. So let's get more into detail about what these exactly are. And most of the time people fall into any one of those categories as far as how they receive love and how they give love. And
Tamo 3:25
for example, the first one that we mentioned was words of affirmation and words of affirmation is things like saying I love you. And expressing appreciation through words.
Akko 3:35
And quality time is when you actually like to spend undivided time with their partner, you actually appreciate that undivided attention with your partner. So without any distraction of television phones, any screen time or other outside interferences. So it's pretty much you and your partner that gets to spend that special time together.
Tamo 3:55
And the next one is going to be receiving gifts. So gifts can have sentimental and symbolic value. And so for people who speak the love language of receiving gifts, they will like to give and receive gifts from others.
Akko 4:09
Yeah, moving on to acts of service. So acts of service is when you value when your partner goes out of the way to make your life easier. So for example, putting gas in the car or taking out the trash. So people who believe that actions speak louder than words. So that's what acts of services.
Tamo 4:27
And the last one is going to be physical touch. And again, this is not in any order. We're just putting these together is going to be physical touch, for example, hugs holding hands and things like that can bring about feelings of warmth and security. And so physical touch can also be a strong love language for some
Akko 4:45
Yeah, and so that pretty much sums up the five love languages. It's important to know what your love language is, and what your partner's love languages so that you guys can communicate effectively and receive and give your love appropriately.
Tamo 5:00
Give love in the way that your partner wants and receive love in the way you want by talking to your partner and for your partner to understand. Yeah. All right. So in order to know what your love languages take the quiz at Five Love Languages comm again, it's the number five love languages all one word Five Love Languages calm.
Akko 5:21
Yeah, and get to know what your love language is and what your partner's love language is. And as a bonus tip, we encourage you guys to take the test together, if you already have just take it again, because your love language can change over time.
Tamo 5:36
And also, by taking the test together, when you answer a certain question a certain way your partner might be intrigued, your partner didn't know that you would answer it in a certain way. So it's a really great chance to get to know your partner even better. And also have them explain why they answered certain things if you didn't understand and don't assume just continue to go deeper ask why they answered that specific question. And by asking, you might actually open up another portal into understanding not just your partner, but for your partner to understand themselves better, because sometimes they answer without really knowing why they answer certain things. So by kind of digging deeper, you'll be able to find new nuggets of gold within the relationship.
Akko 6:17
Yeah, that's great point. So what is your love language? Come on?
Tamo 6:20
Yeah, so mine is words of affirmation and acts of service. To me, those two are quite close together. So I wouldn't really say one is more than the other, they're on the same plane. And again, you know, when you help me with certain things, Chaz, maybe taking care of the laundry for the week, or helping me with certain things such as taking out the trash, you know, simple things like that really show me that you care and on the practical side, or getting things done. So it's, it's funny, but it does show that and when you help me it feels like a teamwork. And we're working together, not our tasks are not so clearly defined that, okay, I'm not going to do take out the trash, because that's your job. It's not like that. It's very flexible. Hey, I have the time today, I have the energy today to do it. So I'll do it this week. And next week, if I have that energy, hey, not an issue. So it's a lot more flexible. And and because it's flexible. We work as a team and cover all the holes, right? So to me, that's a really big one. And also words of affirmation, your support when I'm going through tough times, and cheering me on the words that you use to cheer me on. It's wonderful. That's what helps me continue to do what I do and continue to grow and appreciate you. So those are the two main ones for me. And so let's talk about your soccer. What's your love language.
Akko 7:42
So we have one similar love language. And that is a words of affirmation and physical touch for me. So words of affirmation, I love it. When you say I love you being more encouraging any type of communication with words, it really I highly value it and I feel loved when when you say sweet things, or things that make my heart melt. And as far as physical touch, I'm a very physical like affectionate person. So I love physical touch. So let's say we're sitting on a couch, if it's not too hot of a day, and we're not both sweaty, then I definitely love to get snuggled up right right next to Tamo. And that's just the way I receive my love.
Tamo 8:21
Yeah, and that one's funny, because I tend to be more on the sweaty side. So just as we're seeing right now, I'm getting sweaty, but so when you do sit close, and put your whole body on top of me, I start to sweat. And sometimes I have to say, hey, either we have AC on or I need some space.
Akko 8:40
Because I tend to have a very warm body temperature just in general. So it's just really funny. And I totally understand. And I appreciate it. You know, when he doesn't tell me until he's like sweating. And I'm like, oh, you're sweating.
Tamo 8:51
Right? Right. It's just funny.
Akko 8:52
Yeah, it's really funny becomes comical, you know,
Tamo 8:55
and for me looking at these five love languages, I would guess that you would be all of them. You're, like greedy when it comes to this and all of it. Although receiving gifts is not as big But definitely, you know, the acts of service, physical touch quality time. Yeah, affirmation. And I think that also brings up another thing, this is all positive for anyone, right? I doubt that. There's a person that says, hey, I really dislike it when you give me words of affirmation or acts of service. You did something nice for me. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah, usually, in most cases, all these are definitely positives. And so what we want to do is make sure that we know where we stand for some people, certain love languages are more important than others. And so by knowing this about your partner, it opens up another conversation between the two of you to get to know each other more. And then also, it helps you to take action to show love in the way that your partner wants to receive love.
Akko 9:55
Exactly. Because let's say you receive love by gift giving, let's say and so Usually how you receive love is how you think you give love at the same time. So you know, some people think, okay, so if I give gifts to my partner, then they should feel loved. But it's actually might not be the case. Yeah, it might not be the case, unless they receive love by gifting. So it really depends. And it's really important as Tamo was mentioning, to know how your partner can receive love, and also how you receive love and how you give love and how they give love so that you guys are both on the same page.
Tamo 10:27
Yeah, I totally agree. And again, to reiterate what Akko was saying, just because for you, it might be important that you receive words affirmation doesn't necessarily mean that your partner wants to receive love in that way. That's why this quiz is so useful, so that you understand. And not only that, there's another Golden Nugget within this quiz. And that's for you to get to know yourself better. Right? So before the quiz, you might have been hitting your head on, Wow, I've show so much of my love to my partner by doing things for them. Because you are a person that receives love in the act of service way. And, for example, maybe your partner mainly sees quality time as receiving love, and yet you're continuing acts of service and you're scratching your head going, does my love not translate over? Mm hmm. It might be because of this mismatch. So by knowing then you can go Ah, okay, quality time. All right, I understand that quality time is important to you. So let's do it. Let's spend more quality time. And in the beginning, you might want to make it more obvious that hey, this is acts of service, I understand. That's the way you receive love. And, and so again, like we mentioned in past episodes, in the beginning, it's okay, if it's robotic, it's okay, if it's so seemingly hyper regimented. And okay, step one, step two, step three. But if you practice a couple times, it starts to get more natural and Zai, you know, month, one, month, two month, three things will start to flow a lot more, and you become unconsciously competent. So you're competent, unconsciously, it happens naturally.
Akko 12:02
Exactly, exactly. And so always remind your partner to and it's something that can be forgotten easily. And reminders are a good thing. So you can just let your partner know, just give them a little nudge, like, Hey, you know, I appreciate if you could give me more compliments, whatever it is, or touch me in this way, or you can kind of hint to them, and just give them a hug first. And so that they could understand and connect the dots,
Tamo 12:24
right? And sometimes, maybe even for guys, just the hug won't trigger enough. So you might say, Give him a hug. Hey, this is my love language. Remember kind of thing?
Akko 12:33
Yeah. And just like in a playful way, exactly. And it's no hard feelings, and no one should take it personally, in any way,
Tamo 12:40
right? Because the thing is, if you're offended or agitated, because the understanding is not seemingly received by your partner, if you're bringing that kind of agitated energy already, then your partner is going to not really like it either. And they'll feel that. So, you know, like Aqua mentioned, do you want to be in a playful mood? Hey, you know, remember what we talked about? This is my love language and just kind of have fun with it.
Akko 13:03
Exactly, exactly. So again, I just wanted to just reiterate what we mentioned before, your love languages can change over time, and even daily. So you know, just be encouraged you to be aware of how you receive and give love.
Tamo 13:18
Yeah. And you want to be flexible. And like Akko mentioned, it does change. So for example, if I'm in a down mood, and I need to pick me up, hey, it might be that I need a word of affirmation for you to let me know that things are okay, or, like help me think things through. And maybe the next day, I might just have my hands full. Maybe we're taking care of our daughter. And I need just that extra bit of help. Hey, in those cases, it might be a little bit more after service. So you know, things are flexible. It's never completely one thing. So use this quiz as like a guide, right? A guide a feeler to understanding more about yourself and your partner.
Akko 13:58
Yeah, nothing should really be concrete in a relationship. Everything's always fluid. Everything's always flexible. and adaptable.
Tamo 14:06
Yeah, that is perfect. Because what I want to say is, hey, we're in it to grow, grow with each other as individuals and grow the relationship. So what that means is we want to be changing. We want to be changing some days, you know, you're going to take a step back or two, but continually growing forward is where
Akko 14:23
things are at. Exactly. And you know how you were mentioning, take a step forward, take a step back growth is not a linear thing. It's a very windy Yeah, it's a windy Yeah, it's a windy road. So one step board, three steps back, you just go four steps up. So it's very dynamic.
Tamo 14:39
It's like It's like going on a really technical hike. You know, some days it's downhill in a in a positive way, meaning it's much easier to walk down. Mm hmm. Sometimes it's uphill and it's each step is very heavy. Sometimes it's a straight ahead, move sailing. So it does change daily, how early and so being flexible and Working through those is definitely a it's a key. Mm hmm.
Akko 15:03
Yeah. So what's your love language?
Tamo 15:07
Go ahead and take the quiz at five. Love languages.com. Again, that's the number five. Love languages.com and share that with us. We'd love to hear from you. Please come say hi on our new website by going to Yuntaku time.com.
Akko 15:23
All right. Thank you for listening. All right. Take care. Bye.