Guide to Understanding Your Child's Temperament - Episode-55
Temperament is an important feature of social and emotional health. The word “temperament” refers to the way we approach and react to the world. Simply put, temperament refers to a child's innate personality traits, such as their level of activity, adaptability, distractibility, sensitivity, and emotional reactivity. Oftentimes, people say they can tell the temperament of a child from the cry when they make their way into the world. In this podcast we'll be talking about understanding your child's temperament and how it can affect your parenting. We'll discuss the benefits of being aware of your child's unique temperament, as well as the challenges that can arise when there is a mismatch between parent and child temperament. Join us as we dive deep to share tips on how to navigate these challenges and create a harmonious home.
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IG: @akkoandtamo
TIMESTAMP:
►00:00 - Intro
►00:25 - Recent Happenings: Parent Courses
►00:43 - TOPIC: Guide to Understanding Your Child's Temperament
►01:11 - What is Temperament
►03:24 - Benefits of Understanding Temperament
►04:40 - Tips on how to navigate the challenges of mismatched temperaments
QUESTION: What is your child’s temperament?
MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com
#childtemperament #happyparentchildrelationship #consciousparenting #realizeyourtruenature
Podcast Transcription
The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.
Tamo: This episode 55
Akko: and the topic of the day is Guide to Understanding Your Child's Temperament. And before we get started, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show. Now let's get back to our recent happenings. So recently I've been taking these parent courses and I wanted to share everything that I've been learning. And so a part of today's topic is what I've been learning. And so I wanted to share what I've been learning because it's so important and it just hit home for me.
Tamo: Yeah, that's great. That's great. So let's go straight into it. The topic of the day today is guide to Understanding your child's Temperament. Today we'll be talking about understanding your child's temperament and how it can affect your parenting. So we'll be discussing benefits of being aware of your children's unique temperament, as well as the challenges that can arise when there is a mismatch between parent and child.
uh, We'll be sharing tips on how to navigate these challenges create a harmonious homes. Please share what you've learned.
Akko: Yeah. So understand in temperament, so what exactly is temperament? Temperament is an important feature of social and emotional health. The word temperament actually refers to the way we approach and react to the world. Simply put, temperament refers to a child's innate personality trait. And Oftentimes people say that they can tell the child's temperament from their first cry. And I've heard that multiple times and. I wanted to simplify this and categorize these temperaments in three basic categories, the first one being easygoing.
So they're much more flexible and children that are slow to warm are known to be cautious children. And the last one is active. So they're active children. And so I wanted to give you a percentage as far as. , how many of these children are in each So 40% of children are flexible,. They tend to be the happy and have regular sleeping and eating habits, and a very adaptable, very calm and not easy to get upset. And these are the kids that a lot of parents are like, oh my gosh they're so easy to take care of. And another one is the cautious type. And these are the children that are slow in warming up.
And these make up for 15% of children in the population. And so these kids might be less active, they tend to be a little more fussy, they may be more withdrawn. or react negatively to new situation, but over time they can become more positive with repeated exposure. And just to give you a little bit of personal reference, our daughter is in this cautious category. And lastly, active. Active children make up 10% of the population, and these children tend to be a little more fussy. They're irregular in their feeding and sleeping. They're fearful of new people and situations. They're easily upset by noise and stimulation and intense in their reactions.
And it's also important to note that temperament is not the same as behavior. Behavior is actually influenced by the child's exposure to the environment and experiences, whereas temperament is more ingrained and consistent.
So understanding your child's temperament can help you better understand their needs, preferences, and triggers. . So what are the benefits of understanding these temperaments?
So the benefit to understanding these temperament is so that you can understand and you can tailor your parenting approach to meet your child's needs. For example, if your child is a little more sensitive, you may need to be a little more gentle or understanding when they become upset.
So there's just little different tactics that you can use. So for example, our daughter is a little more easily frustrated. And the more we try to redirect, the more she resists. And what we've learned to do is just really take a deep breath ourselves because it is definitely a triggering point for me, at least for me.
It's very triggering when she's like very fussy and just won't listen and just doing the complete opposite of what we want her to do. I just take a deep breath and then, I just remind myself that she's learning and I actually give her a big.
And so I try to connect with her first. That's really what works with her the best. Connect with her, give her a big hug. I invited her to a hug, and that seems to, that connection really seems to calm her nerves and switches the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight to the more conceptual brain. And so she's starts to wake up and she becomes more, receptive to what I'm saying.
And this has been really helping with us. And so some of the challenges, I already mentioned some of the challenges of mismatched temperament, so understanding what your temperament is and what your child's temperament helps as far as what kind of things you can do.
So that. Whenever there is a mismatch, whenever you know, one is high in sensitivity, one is low in sensitivity, you can kind of navigate as far as what you can do so that you can have a more peaceful relationship and a more peaceful situation or experiences with your child.
So here are some specific tips for navigating the challenges whenever there is a mismatch and temperament. And so one is to see and connect with their child.
So a lot of times these children might not feel safe, they might not feel secure, they might feel emotionally attacked, and that's why number one is to really connect and understand the similarities and differences that you and the child both have.
So really understanding yourself is important in this situation. Actually in life in general, it's important to know who you are and what type of traits you have. And number two is noticing your child's strength you know, always I wouldn't say compliment or praise, but making them aware of their strength and not always pointing out their negativity. Oh, you did this bad, or, you did that bad and not always pointing out their negativity and thinking actually in negative ways. Oh, my child takes forever to play with another child. Or, I'm afraid that, she or he will never make friends. Instead of saying stuff like that, you can tell yourself, because usually it can be a reflection, like the way they're reacting is a reflection your emotion that you're going through. And so you can tell yourself, Hey, my child takes a little longer to warm up and it's okay because she likes to observe who she wants to make friends with. You can think of it in a more positive way. And also another tip is to co-regulate with your child.
So take a deep breath with your child, have a little activity that you do when you get into these struggles or when you get into these mismatch situations, or when you get into conflicts, stay focused, stay connected with them. You can, maybe put your foreheads together and then count to three and take a deep breath together. And you make the activity fun so that they're actually willing to do these deep breath activities or however way you wanna regulate with your, with their child. then another one is to respond in a more helpful way.
And so instead of brushing them, , connect with them. So connect in a way that's more helpful for them and not yourself, because you are the adult. You can regulate your emotions more than they can because they aren't unable to regulate any of their emotions.
And so that's why you are there and that's why you as a parent is there help them. And lastly be more.
in teaching your child, be more flexible in the way you're thinking. And I have to say, I had a hard time with this because, we would always go into these new situations and our daughter would just cling onto me or Tamo.
And honestly, in the beginning it would trigger me in a way that was just really annoying. Like I used to always think, why can't my child be one of those kids that just can be so adaptable in any situation and just start playing with other kids and say hi to everyone.
But, soon I just realized like, this is how she is. She's just slow to warming up to situations and that's okay. She's just very observant and. That's just the way she is. And I have to accept her for who she is. And once she warms up to the situation it's totally fine. And so giving myself grace and giving her grace was a learning curve for myself. . And so yeah, I just wanted to just share that information so that, if you have a child that's a little more cautious or if you have a child that's hard to adapt to situations like you're not alone and there are a lot of parents out there, and there are a lot of children out there that kind of fits in the same category. So just know that you're not alone and there's always ways to navigate in different types of situation. And so, Don't feel that you're alone and don't feel like, just because you and your child have different traits or whatnot that you can't connect.
Because there's always ways to connect and there's always tools that you can use to connect with a child in a more effective way. . So again, understanding your child's temperament it's a super powerful tool for creating a harmonious home and being aware of your child's unique needs, preferences, and triggers can really set realistic expectations to the way you parent and understanding the different temperament styles of your family will teach everyone how to be in charge of themselves and understand their own personal strengths. So connecting in these ways can be one of the biggest gift you can offer your child.
Tamo: So if you think this episode is helpful for other parents, please share it. And if you haven't, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show.
Akko: And the question of the day is, what is your child's temperament?
Tamo: We'd love to hear from you. Please come say hi by commenting on our website by going to AKKOANDTAMO.COM and clicking on the podcast tab.
We're also on Instagram at AKKO AND TAMO, so come say hi to us there and let us know that you came from the podcast. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Akko: Bye.