The Bigger Picture of Why We Prioritize Parenting - Ep 56
Parenting is a crucial responsibility for individuals and is considered essential for the well-being of the next generation. It shapes the character and values of children, helping them develop into responsible and successful adults. By providing a supportive and loving environment, parenting also supports a child's emotional, psychological, and physical growth. Thus, we prioritize want to parenting for its impact on both the individual and society as a whole. Join us as we dive deep in why parents need to take a step back at times to see the bigger picture.
We look forward to reading your comments. ❤️ 💫
IG: @akkoandtamo
TIMESTAMP:
►00:00 - Intro
►00:25 - Recent Happenings: Our son entered terrific twos
►01:03 - TOPIC: The bigger picture of why we prioritize parenting
►02:02 - Why we prioritize parenting
►04:04 - The real reason why we create a trusting relationship between parent/child
►07:56 - When parenting becomes challenging remember the bigger picture
QUESTION: What is your bigger picture of why you prioritize parenting?
MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com
#prioritizingparenting #happychildren #consciousparenting #realizeyourtruenature
Podcast Transcription
The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.
Tamo: This is episode 56
Akko: and the topic of the day is the bigger picture of why we prioritize parenting. And before we get started, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show. Now let's get back to our recent happenings. So recently our sun turned two and he has entered, officially entered the terrific twos, and it's been quite tough. We thought we like dodged it because we were like, oh, he's been so good. And
Tamo: I was hoping he would be done with it, but, he had a little bit more up his sleeve and Yeah, we were feeling the brunt of it.
Akko: Oh yeah.
I have no idea what just happened in the last two
Tamo: Yeah. Just as soon as he entered the twos, he's okay, let's do
Akko: Yeah.
very vocal. I don't know.
Tamo: He screams and yeah, there's just a lot of stuff that
Akko: there's a lot of new things that he's been doing. Yeah. I'm like, wow, what's going on here?
Tamo: It's been pretty tough. Yeah. So that's the recent happenings. But today let's go into the topic of the day, which is looking at the bigger picture of why we prioritize parenting. So we wanna share our thoughts on parenting and, it's always great to get a bigger picture, a step back, because parenting, especially with young ones, it's so tough.
I'm always waving the white flag and just they beat me to a pulp. It's great to look at the bigger picture so that we as parents can, gather our energies and , understand why we're doing this. .
Akko: Yeah, exactly.
Tamo: And first of all, I just wanna say parenting.
Oh man. It is difficult and we wanna acknowledge all parents who are educating themselves and putting their learnings into practice. For. Parents that are educating yourselves to become better parents and putting those things into practice we applaud you. And we are here as parents.
We're on the same team. We hope that the podcast can also be a form of support. You guys are awesome.
Akko: The The fact that You're listening to this Oh, yeah. Already, just, Define you as good parents.
Tamo: Yeah. Yeah. That is that so yeah I'd like to share our thoughts on parenting. So I'm gonna just really start with the bigger picture, which is we prioritize parenting because the bigger picture for us as parents is to have a supportive, deep and love-filled relationship with our children.
And it is our hope that our children will grow up to be human beings that are able to realize their full potential for them to have a big, benevolent dreams have resilience and resolved to realize those. And not a self-centered dream, but a dream that includes the whole, not, it's just not about me, but it's more about we and beyond that.
And one thing I came across in the past. I think it was in regards to self-development or a way of seeing a filter you can use to see life is when you're very young, you're dependent, right? . And as you're growing up, you're dependent, and then you work to become independent.
So as parents, we really want to help our children become independent and. Beyond that, if you continue to grow from independence, you become interdependent. Understanding that it's not just me, but it really becomes we. And so I hope that's something that you can keep in mind from dependence, independence to interdependence.
And for myself, I really saw that as I was growing my business where in. beginning. You're dependent on certain things. For example, if you're starting up maybe you need capital, you may need help from your friends and family. If you're not taking capital in our case, we didn't. I had been working a nine to five, saving up some money.
In order to invest into the business, but at the same time, we had to live at our parents' place in order to cut on rent expenses and things like that as we focused on the business. And so we're dependent. And then as the business grew, we became more independent. And then as the business continue to grow when you start to have employees and business partners people, suppliers, things like that, it's more of an interdependent stage and then you grow from there.
And going back to parenting to get to this we as parents need to create a strong relationship foundation that is built on trust, communication, and love. And Akko recently had been telling me, yeah, it's when things get tough in the teenage years or even younger they can always come to us for communication, support, open honesty, and things like that.
Akko: That's really the goal here, right? Because you don't want your teenage to go to their peers for answers because most likely those answers might not be in their best interest. And what we're really trying to do with conscious parenting and just parenting is so that we can build their trust towards us as parents, so they can trust us enough to tell us the truth. for example, Talk about very hard subjects or situations. So that's really the ultimate goal, right? To have our kids trust us for the hard things to talk about.
Tamo: And especially with peers, they're going through the same thing and they don't have the maturity or the experience or maybe even the knowledge of certain things and what feels good to them may not be the right thing in the long run, even in the short run.
As parents, we would. For our children to be able to share, be open share their feelings and find safety with us as parents.
Akko: Absolutely. Yes. i Think safety is like a good word. You want them to be secure and safe with us. And that feeling of safety is very childhood. Whenever our daughter or our son is having a tantrum or a fit or whatnot.
One thing to really mention is you are safe. Don't worry. You're safe. And that can calm kids down. And it's the same with adults. When you're having these like anxiety or just these really tough situations when someone just tells you're safe, that really gives you a little bit of peace within yourself. oh, okay I am safe. Like I can trust these people or this person.
Tamo: Yeah. Always have them feel like it's safe at home. And let's say they have a tough time at school whatever it is. They can always come home and feel safe and rejuvenate at home, and then they can go back out and continue on with their schooling or whatever the issue was.
Akko: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Tamo: And that's the reason we believe that starting as early as possible, even before birth, even before conception, Is a real important thing to do. And it's never too late. And continuing to, understand ourselves as parents and where we're coming from so that we can be a lot more self-aware so that we understand how we are coming across to our children.
Because, there's always a lot of contentious energy; we are the parent, you're our child. Maybe friction, but we want to break that friction down and just we're almost like a coach. At the same time we're parents. We are the place to come for love security comfort, and also at the same time parents that. Be able to push our children, especially when we know that they can do much better. Being able to give that positive push that says, Hey, I know you can do a lot better. I know that you're capable. And just giving that, that encouragement.
Akko: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So Tamo was saying, we wanna create that environment where they can feel comfortable opening up to as our children navigate through the ups and downs of their life. And most of that might come, during their teenage years or maybe even before that. But, we want them to feel comfortable coming to us
Tamo: . Yeah. And we want to continue building that relationship. So during the elementary school years, during middle school teenage years, and then into high school we can continue to, not only role model, but a positive influence on their life without pushing our agenda., but having the agenda be for the best of our children, . And that is giving the love that we have for them. It is giving them encouragement. It is sharing.that you can find safety at home. Being open ourselves so that they can be open with. And so I think that's something that Akko and I have been talking about because it's been so tough.
Akko: yeah,
it's been tough these past, yeah. Couple weeks, maybe a few weeks. and Yeah. Tamo came to me and was like, oh my God, it's so hard. And, we have to always remind each other when we're both being triggered in some ways, or, having a hard time with child wearing, because sometime we need that person to lift those binoculars off our eyes and see the bigger picture and realize, hey, you know what we're actually doing, the parenting that we're doing so that they can trust us when they grow up to enter that stage where there's more peer pressure, where they have to make harder decisions, where those consequences can be life changing. And so we want them to be able to come to us for that. And and that's why we don't want to scold them or shame them, but create an environment that's safe,
All right. So sometimes, when we ask our daughter, what happened? Did you hit or did you push her? Just more of those unwanted behavior that she did. When we ask her when she. answers us truthfully, it's always such a, it's such a win. Okay, she's comfortable enough to tell us the truth and, we don't judge her. We just explain to her the situation without any judgment and yeah. Again I always take it as a win that she's able to tell us the. when we ask those questions.
Tamo: Yeah. And again all these things are really difficult to do because especially in our case, this is exactly opposite of how we were raised, right? Oh, yeah. It's very difficult to change those patterns that we, you don't even know exists because that's how we we didn't grow up this way. Most likely polar opposite of how we're trying to parent. And it doesn't really come naturally to
Akko: us. No, not at all.
Tamo: And there's a lot of friction internal friction where we know we need to, stay calm and things like that. But there are times where it's very difficult to you're tired, and especially in this maybe age range everything's a friction point. It feels at least for me, it's okay put on your shoes and even that's a friction point. No, I don't want to blah, blah, blah. They'll run away, put on your socks. Same thing. Put on your shirt. Same thing. Like everything. Every single thing seems to be a friction point and maybe for an hour or two. Hey, it's cool, but when it becomes 24 7 yeah, it gets really tough.
Akko: Oh yeah. Yeah. It's pretty much like someone just like pushing your buttons the whole time you're trying so hard to, keep yourself together.
And it's so difficult and, sometime, hey we're human, , we're not perfect. And, , yes. I might raise my voice at them. And it's funny cuz our daughter will be like, Hey mom, you know that was very loud, you got me scared.
And that's when we can model also. So this is also a situation where you can model and let her know that. . Yeah. Raising my voice wasn't right. And apologize for that. And so you can teach her, hey, if you did something that you didn't think was right, you can apologize for that.
And even as parents, you can apologize. So you're pretty much letting her know that, hey, I can apologize for certain things too.
Tamo: Yeah, I think that's a great point. And so in another way, you don't have to be perfect as parents. And those imperfections that we also allows for opportunity of growth because again, like Akko mentioned, it's maybe an opportunity to apologize or maybe an opportunity to instead say, okay, I did it this way.
Let me try it again. How about if I do it this way? , model that to your kids. Then they learn that, hey, even if I make a mistake, I can always correct that and take different actions to improve on what they previously did. Yeah, continue to see it in a positive light and moving it toward a more constructive way.
Akko: Yeah, I agree. And like Tamo was mentioning dialoguing and. role playing what should have happened is very important too. And because we do this pretty often, our daughter will, tell me how to redo things. And I'm like, okay, let me redo it.
Is this okay? And she's yes. And so it's really interesting that what we are teaching her is actually getting into her. It's always a win. Yes. A lot of times are very tough, but also, when you see the situations, it's yes there's something that went through it to them. And so that's why putting energy into becoming better parents yourself or better individuals yourself is really important. And we make a conscious effort to build a strong, supportive and open relationship with our children.
And we lay that foundation for our lifelong connection, that lifelong bond with our children. And, they'll know that they can always come to us no matter what challenges they face. And, We will always be there to listen and offer guidance and support them.
Tamo: If you think this episode is helpful for other parents, please share it. And if you haven't, take a quick moment to subscribe to our show
Akko: and the question of the day.
Tamo: What is your bigger picture of why you prioritize parenting?
Akko: We'd love to hear from you. Please come say hi by commenting on our website by going to ako and tamo.com. That's A K K O A N D T A M O .COM, and clicking on the podcast tab. And we're also on Instagram at ako and. So that's A K K O A N D T A M O. Come say hi to us there.
Tamo: All right, take
care.