How to Rise Higher in Love - Episode 12

Wedding anniversaries are such a special day. Not only is a day to celebrate your relationship with your partner but a day to reflect and explore. We are firm believers in reflecting and exploring new possibilities both personally and maritally. During our wedding anniversary we love to talk about our past year and how it was and see what we can improve on. Furthermore, we can be creative and see new opportunities as we talk about how to improve our future. What do you do on your anniversary? Join us, as we talk about our wedding anniversary. We’d love to hear from you.

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TIMESTAMP:
►00:13 - What does Yuntaku mean?
►00:47 - Recent Happenings: Celebrating Wedding Anniversary
►02:31 - TOPIC: Your anniversary is a great time to reflect with your partner
►02:39 - Seeing the relationship as the fertile soil in which we are both planted in.
►05:00 - Reflect on your relationship
►07:23 - Explore new possibilities

QUESTION: What questions would you ask when you reflect on your relationship and explore new possibilities.

MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com

Podcast Transcription

The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.

Tamo 0:00

specifically tailored to you. And something that really gets you energized and feeling full of love and vigor in your life.

Akko 0:09

It's Yuntaku time with Akko and Tamo.

Tamo 0:13

What does Yuntaku mean? It's an Okinawan word from the islands of Okinawa, which means Chit chat, we want to invite you to our kitchen table, and include you in our chit chat to explore new ways of thinking, to welcome different perspectives.

Akko 0:31

And we want to share ideas and how to love yourself, love your partner, and shower your children with love.

Tamo 0:38

This is Episode 12.

Akko 0:40

And the topic of the day is your anniversary is a great time to reflect with your partner. But before we get to that, let's talk about our recent happenings. So recently, we just had our wedding anniversary, and we celebrated it by going back to our wedding venue and reminisced about how our wedding was, and yeah, we

Tamo 0:59

walk the grounds and just look back at how we planned and how we really the day came out better than expected. And just to sidetrack a little bit when we plan for our wedding. Of course, wedding planning is very stressful. Yes, yes, it is. But the way we saw the wedding planning was we wanted to express ourselves in the wedding. And at the same time also considering the people that were going to be in attendance. So really balancing from the people attending and expressing ourselves. And I think that came out really nicely. The wedding venue was an outdoor venue. In garden,

Akko 1:31

yes, an open field, surrounded by nature felt like you were kind of floating up in the air, it was a very beautiful venue.

Tamo 1:38

Yeah. And along with that we had food trucks. So we did it our way. It was an international food truck. Yes.

Akko 1:44

We had a few food trucks.

Tamo 1:46

And we had food from many different cultures. So that was pretty fun.

Akko 1:50

Yeah, we did. And then we had outdoor games that the guests can play with. So kind of felt like a big picnic, I would say, yeah, it was, it

Tamo 1:58

was really fun. So we got to do some reminiscing and just spend quiet time together. So that was really nice.

Akko 2:04

It was really nice. Just the two of us, our daughter was being taken care of by grandma. So that was a treat for us. And that we were able to really reflect on our relationship the past year, and really explore any new possibilities for our relationship.

Tamo 2:20

And similar to that of New Year's resolution, we don't necessarily, we didn't necessarily go for a resolution, but just taking time to reflect on the past year, and on our relationship. So with that said, let's go into more of the topic of the day, which is using the anniversary as a time to reflect with your partner. And the first one that I wanted to share with you was that during the time that I was spending with a girl, as she had mentioned that the relationship was kind of like a garden or something along those lines. And it was really a great analogy to how we see a relationship. And that's seeing the relationship as the fertile soil that both of us are planted in. And so the more fertile the soil, the better possibility of growth that we have. And so the more fertile the relationship is, then it gives each of us much more possibility to grow and flourish as individuals. And by flourishing and growing to our highest possibilities within the relationship, then we can put more back into the relationship further enriching the relationship, the soil that we both grow in. And so I thought that was a really great way to see it. And it allowed me to see the relationship in a much more nuanced way. And so it was a really great time to talk to you during that time.

Akko 3:35

Yeah, no, it was, it was great. I'm so glad that we had that time to really talk about everything and how our relationship is, you know, like you're saying, like the whole fertile soil. And now that our relationship is in the fertile soil, all we have to do is occasionally put that fertilizer and keep watering for maintenance. And it's a lot of fun. And we were talking about how the beginning of it was a lot of work, we had to put in a lot of work. But now it's so simple, and we so much gratification just being with each other.

Tamo 4:03

And yeah, I think similarly, just we actually talked about this during the time, the wedding venue, which was just like when the space shuttle launches to escape Earth's gravitational force, it requires a lot of energy to get the space shuttle out of the Earth's gravity, the main gravitational pole. And then once you go into orbit, you only require a little bit of fuel and energy to move quite far and smooth. The end, I think our relationship was similar, where in the beginning, it was a lot of work. It was tough. It was a lot of emotional labor, and just really digging into things so that we can understand each other at a deeper level. And not only that to do a lot of personal work, right? Yes. And once you get to a certain point, things become a lot easier. And one unit of energy that we put into our relationship can equal 10 to 2100.

Akko 4:53

Yeah, more like exponential.

Tamo 4:55

So yeah, thank you for bringing that up. That's a really great point. And I love that Yeah, yeah, and So with that said, we want to share two perspectives that you can take one looking backwards and one looking forward in the present moment. So you always want to be in the present moment, but being able to look back and reflecting, and then looking forward to explore new possibilities. So Akko, if you can share some questions that couples can you ask each other, please do.

Akko 5:19

Yeah. So like Tamo was saying, one is to look backwards. And that's really to reflect on your relationship. And some of the questions that you can ask yourself is, how was a past year? Do the two of you feel you made progress personally, and as a couple? And a really easy question to ask yourself daily is, am I happier today than it was yesterday? So that's a very easy question that you can always ask yourself to see to track yourself.

Tamo 5:41

And of course, on a daily basis, some days, the answer is yes, some days, the answer is no. But if you look back a week, a month, three months, six months, a year, five years, 10 years, then you'll start to see where you're at. And if it's trending upwards, hey, you're on the right track. And if you notice that it's trending neutral, or if it's trending down, then you actually do want to do really deeply reflect on why that is. And sometimes it's not even the relationship, but it's a personal issue. Sometimes it is a relationship. And then when things like that come up, being able to talk to each other in a really quantumness calm way, is a really fantastic first step. So by asking these questions, even if your happiness is trending upwards, you can accelerate and change that trajectory to even a much accelerated pace of joy and fulfillment. And happiness.

Akko 6:31

Yeah, I completely agree. And he made good points. And so you know, really ask yourself, like, how was the past year and really dig deep? When you're asking yourself this question and talk about it openly with your partner, if it was a bad year, talk about why it was a bad year and how you could improve it. Right? And

Tamo 6:48

when this conversation happens, it's not accusatory, right? So you're not accusing your partner of doing certain things or not doing certain things. But you just want to ask with curiosity, without judgment, because this is really an exploratory question. It's just like, we're going through a jungle and trying to understand each other, and trying to understand ourselves, because the more that we can understand ourselves, the more we can understand each other. And the more we can understand ourselves, the more we can help your partner to understand us. Yeah. And so it just gets deeper and deeper, and the soil becomes a lot more enriched. Yeah, yeah.

Akko 7:23

And so reflection is a great thing. But moving on to looking forward, exploring new possibilities, is also important as well. So you can ask yourself, if you had a magic wand, how would you and the relationship progress in the next year for you to feel happy? Because a very important question and a very sometime hard one to answer. Because you have to think, what do I need to feel happy? So what am i needing? What am I wanting to fulfill that? And so it's more of a twofold you have to ask yourself personally, and then also as a couple

Tamo 7:53

Exactly. I think that's a great point, you want to ask yourself this, and then as a couple answer the same question. So first of all, ease and share of what you would like to see happen. And then you ask your partner, the same thing and then find a common ground? How can we enrich this soil a lot more so having a vision of the future and how you want to see yourself grow? And as a couple, your relationship to grow together? So yeah, I think that's a great question. And that allows you to look up to the relationship and bring a new sense of excitement and energy into the relationship. So it's a really great way to create a solid foundation for the two of you.

Akko 8:32

It's something that you guys could follow and keep track. So like you were saying, you create that vision, and then you can follow that vision throughout the whole year, so that you can get to your goal. It's kind of like a vision board in a sense. And

Tamo 8:45

what is it that you want, usually, vision boards are just what you want personally, right? In the case of a couple, where you want to do is make sure that the foundation of what you both want together is very clear, so that you can grow together, you help each other grow. And in the end, that's where it's at. How much can you grow personally in the relationship, so I know that Uncle, you have a kind of vision for how you want to see growth, and maybe you can share that.

Akko 9:12

Yeah. So just to give you an example, My vision is that I want to have a deeper sense of joy and connection with you and to allow ourselves to feel a great sense of freedom and flow emotionally and spiritually, mentally and physically so that we can feel more at ease in our own body in our own life. So that's one tidbit of my vision. I like to always feel connected with people I always want to spread joy and happiness to people. So I like smiling at people unfortunately, they can't really see my smile nowadays because of the mask. But that's one thing that I always love to do, you know, smile at people, they smile back at me great if they don't, that's okay. But just spreading that happiness with a smile, I feel is something special.

Tamo 9:54

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for sharing that. And I like how it's very expensive and what you want is for In which freedom for the both of us in the more we can find that can share that with others. So yeah, that's that's a great share. Thank you.

Akko 10:07

Yeah. And it doesn't have to be this broad, it can be very specific to, like, I want to have less arguments, and then talk about how

Tamo 10:14

that could happen. And maybe something like what triggers? Yes.

Akko 10:18

What triggers you, let's stop saying these words that start saying thank you like, it could be a very simplistic appreciation goes a very long way. And that's one thing that we've both value that we feel appreciated. And we always say thank you to each other.

Tamo 10:32

Yeah, I think that's a great point. So like I said, in the beginning, it can be as simple as, hey, let's say thank you more, or this triggers me. So let's maybe avoid that. Or usually triggers are great areas of improvement you can make personally. So figuring out for yourself, why is that triggering me? And then working on that? So yeah, it's a really great point. And maybe even more simple is like, okay, we want to take one or two more trips a year.

Akko 10:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to spend more quality time with you traveling, right. So it can be from that to very expensive. So it can be anything to be honest with you. Because this is your vision for your relationship, right?

Tamo 11:09

So there's no right or wrong you do you and whatever works for you at this time. That's what you want to pursue. And then always continue to revise and grow yourself. And you know, when you grow, you're going to have a different vision for your relationship for yourself, for your family. So continue to introspect, and then continue to reflect on the relationship and continue to grow so that you can have more and more vision that is specifically tailored to you. And something that really gets you energized and feeling full of love and vigor in your life.

Akko 11:43

Oh yeah, that's all said thank you very much for sharing. So the question is, what questions would you ask when you reflect on your relationship and explore new possibilities?

Tamo 11:53

We'd love to hear from you. Please comment on our YouTube channel by searching Yuntaku time. Till next time, take care bye